Jokes

Found this 2 interesting articles lol :D

三字經

for those who do not understand 三字經... here the translation...

人之初 ：At the beginning of life. (生命的起初)
　　
性本善 ：Sex is good. (性是美好的)
　　
性相近 ：Basically, all the sex are same. (基本上,所有的性行為是差不多滴)
　　
習相遠 ：But it depends on how the way you do it. (但還是得依照個人的喜好而為之)
　　
苟不教 ：If you do not practice all the time. (若你不隨時勤練精進)
　　
性乃遷 ：Sex will leave you. (性將遠離你的生活)
　　
教之道 ：The way of learning it.. (學習性的指導原則)
　　
貴以專 ：is very important to make love with only one person.. (最最重要的法則是做性這檔事只能對一個人)
　　
昔孟母 ：Once a great mother, Mrs. Meng. (曾經有一個偉大的教母:孟母)
　　
擇鄰處 ：chose her neighbor to avoid bad sex influence to her child.. (為孩子選最佳性行為示範的鄰居為鄰,避免壞的性示範而影響小朋友的身心健康)
　　
子不學 ：If you don’t study hard,. (再次叮嚀,你若再不刻苦勤學....)
　　
斷機杼 ：Your Dick will become useless.. (你的雞雞就從此報廢掉) (機=雞...)
　　
竇燕山 ：Mr. Dou, a famous man. (竇先生,名人)
　　
有義方 ：owned a very effective exciting medicine. (他有一帖非常讚的藥方)
　　
教五子 ：All his five son took it. (生出來的五個男孩全靠這一帖)
　　
名俱揚 ：and their sexual ability were well-known.. (而他五個小孩的性能力,北港有名聲,下港有出名)
　　
養不教 ：If your children don t know how to do it,. (你的小孩若不知道如何做好性行為....)
　　
父之過 ：It is all your fault.. (這所有最過都是你造成的)
　　
教不嚴 ：If they had lots of problems with it,. (如果你的小孩做這檔是有問題....)
　　
師之惰 ：their teachr must be too lazy to teach them details on sex.. (那他的老師一定敎很懶散,沒有敎的很徹底)
　　
子不學 ：You may refuse to study this. (你或許會抗拒學習它...)
　　
非所宜 ：but that is a real mistake. (你就犯下真正的錯誤)
　　
幼不學 ：If you don t learn it in childhood,. (如果不從小學習它....)
　　
老何為 ：you will lose your ability when aged. (若上了年紀你會喪失所有的性能力)
　　
玉不琢 ：If you don t exercise your dick,. (若沒有持續操你的小弟弟)
　　
不成器 ：It won t become hard and strong.. (它將不會變的堅硬和強壯)
　　
人不學 ：If you don t learn sex,. (如果你沒有學習性行為)
　　
不知義 ：You can by no means enjoy its sweetness. (你將無法體會享受其中的甜美)

How Old Are You A little girl and her mother were out and about. Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now." The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything." Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again. The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old." The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?" The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds." "Where did you learn that?" The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."